It all started with Malaria- or so I thought
The day before Thanksgiving, my whole body ached from head
to toe. Fever came at 4pm and disappeared by morning. I laid in bed feeling
miserable, useless and full of moans and groans. This continued the next day
(Thanksgiving Day) as well. By Friday, I thought I should be starting to feel
better, yet it was the opposite. My fever didn’t go away in the morning and
instead, it kept going up. My aches kept increasing as well. I put on my
Christian worship music again and was lying in bed worshiping God when I heard
him tell me I needed to go to see a doctor. At that time, I checked my body
temp and it was 102.5 so I got up and stumbled to my roommate’s room to ask her
to bring me to the clinic.
Arriving at the clinic, they took my temperature to find my
fever at 103.5. They admitted me to the hospital at that point. I was so “out
of it” at that point that all I cared about was having a place to lay down.
They took some blood and started deciding which tests to do. I remember at one
point they read my heart beats (like an EKG) but this machine looked like it
was from the 1940’s. It had clamps like a car charger which they put on my
ankles and wrists. Then, it had 8 suction cups they put on my chest. Then, it
read my heart and printed out a paper. It took about 4 minutes and then the car
charging 1940 looking machine was removed from me and rolled out of my room. By
this time, blood results came back showing I had some sort of infection. My
white blood cell count was way off and my kidneys were not functioning
properly. They proceeded with more tests like a sonogram and a chest x-ray yet
no findings were revealed.
At this point, it was revealed that I’d be staying the night
in the hospital. I was still achy, tired, coughing, feverish, stomach hurt and
didn’t have an appetite at all. That night, I turned on the television to see
Men in Black in French, and a church service in English singing a song that my
church Crossroads sang often (the song was titled Adonai). After flipping
through a few more channels of African dancing and drumming and singing, I
dosed off. Yet, I woke up in the middle of the night to my body shivering and
teeth clattering as my fever rose. Then, I’d wake again to a puddle of sweat.
The night time was the hardest and worst experiences for me during the
sickness. I got to the point where I dreaded going to sleep. I would pray for
God to keep me up because I was too scared to fall asleep. I didn’t want to
fall asleep only to awaken to some horrible fever. It was the worst way to
awaken from a deep sleep. Well, that was until, I woke up in the middle of the
night the next night with extreme pain in my abdomen. The doctors gave me
medicine for that….I guess they saw how much pain I was in so they gave me strong
stuff. This medicine was so strong that I became delirious and had
hallucinations from it. I kept thinking I was going to die. That was the
scariest night I had.
There is a lot to be thankful for. During this sickness, I
realized that many people in Africa get very ill (just like I was) but they
don’t have money for clinics, doctors, medicine). I also realized how thankful
I was to be at the clinic I was at. I had wonderful doctors and nurses taking
care of me. They did a fabulous job. I also had a wonderful support team from
the missionaries and friends out here. They visited me and brought me food,
dvd’s, snacks, etc. I felt truly loved from my new friends. I was amazed at how
thoughtful they were to come see me and bring me things to help my visit in the
hospital a more enjoyable one. I am truly thankful.
It’s been hard to be disconnected from my friends and family
and partners back home during this time. I know people are praying for me and I
am thankful for their dedication and care. It has also been hard for me to lean
on other people. I think it is part of my roots as a “Jersey girl”. I am very
independent and it is hard to depend on other people to take care of me. It is
also hard for me to slow down and rest. I am always on the go and now I am
being forced to slow down.
Well, now I am home from the hospital. My infection is
decreasing. My appetite is increasing. I am taking antibiotics and I have a
follow up appointment tomorrow at the doctors. The source of the infection was
never found so it still is not clear as to where the infection came from. My
pain is a lot less than what it was 6 days ago and my fever is gone. My energy
level is still extremely low. My appetite still is not back to normal yet. My
ears have been ringing like crazy. My coughing varies from bad to okay
throughout the day. I am still resting. It is hard to sit still and rest.
Anyone who knows me knows how hard it is for me to stay put
in one place for any duration of time. Yet, even though I am back home from the
hospital, I am not physically able yet to return to my normal lifestyle. I am
much too weak right now. This has been a challenge for me. I am bored out of my
mind. And even though I probably lost 10 pounds from being sick and not eating,
I feel like I have gained 20 pounds from lying around so much and not being
active. I feel unproductive right now. I know God is using this time to heal my
body more. I know I need to be patient, yet it is hard.
After staying in the hospital for 4 days, my hospital bill
came to about $800 in US dollars. Pretty amazing when you think about how much
it would have been in the states. Yet, that is still more money than I planned
to spend now. So, I am feeling a little stressed financially as well.
Please pray for me to have continued healing. Please pray
that the antibiotics the doctors sent me home with will continue to decrease
the infection and the infection would not return. Please pray that my appetite
will reappear fully and I will be able to eat regularly again soon. Please pray
that my stomach, back and neck pains will decrease and entirely go away. Please
pray for my cough and my chest to be cleared up fully. Please pray for my
energy levels to increase and for me to rest and not “over do it” until my body
can handle it. Please pray for continued rest and healing. Please pray for
continued wisdom for the doctors to know if they should do any further tests,
follow up treatments or prescribe any additional medication. Please pray for
the finances to be worked out so I am not stressed about the $800 unexpected
hospital bill.
I am so thankful for all of the support, help and prayers.
Thank you! Please continue to pray for me. I am in better shape but I am not
back to normal yet. I have a little road left of recovery and I am just hoping
it is a smooth and somewhat quick one. Praise God that I am home from the
hospital. Praise God that I am no longer having a fever. Praise God that I am
no longer experiencing extreme pain. God is amazing. He is my comforter and my
healer. I am so thankful for all the blessings God has brought into my life. I
have learned to praise God through the good times and the bad times. This is
the first time in my life that I sang out praises to His holy name while lying
sick in a hospital bed. Praise God that He listens to our fears, our pain and
our suffering. He takes it away. He answers prayers and heals our bodies.
As I write this, my head is still foggy and my mind is
fuzzy. My left arm has numerous places of bruises from needles and my right
hand is still remarkably sore from where the IV was. My stomach has this
tingling of pain that radiates to the back still and my body feels run down. I
feel like my body just came out of a traumatic and intense storm. It feels
battered and beaten up. It feels trampled on. It feels like it’s been over
worked. My mind feels spent as well. I feel as if I came close to death a few
times during the night time and my mind is still recovering from the glimpses
of fear I thought during those low points. I ask myself if I will ever return
back to my normal self? Or has this experience changed my life forever? Has
this changed the way I see the world? Has this changed my views of life? I
think it is too early to determine that due to the fact that my mind is
surrounded and soaked in what feels like fuzzy static.
So, during these (what I hope will be) last laps of my
illness, I hold onto the hope that I will recover fully and completely in God’s
timing. I also hope that I hear what God wants me to hear during this time. I
hope that I can look back to this and see God’s hand upon me during this
experience. I hope to remember to praise Him always through the good times and
the tough times. Whether I am feeling good or bad, I need to praise God for He
deserves my praise! I need to remember to be thankful for what I have, for the
blessings in my life and the people God has placed in my life. I need to
remember to slow down and take care of myself. I hope that I never get malaria
again. I also hope to never get an infection like this one again. They were
both miserable experiences. Yet, I am still here. I am still alive. God has
kept me alive because he has a plan and a purpose for me. I need to trust Him
for everything. And even if I were to endure this again, God will be with me
every second again. And I will praise him again.
Well, that is all for now. May God bless you all. I will
talk to you soon. Thank you again for your prayers.
